Toxic Relationships: Coping with Unhealthy Family Members

The air feels frigid when my uncle walks in to the room. He's cold and mean. He's a special method of saying the perfect aspect to cause you to doubt everything with regards to you. I wish to hide within my bedroom for any week after seeing him to have an hour.

My uncle has a tendency to have toxic relationships – especially with members of the family. Thankfully, I've recognized his negative traits and I've developed techniques for dealing with his actions. Now it seems like fat loss has been lifted off my shoulders.

A large part of self-care is identifying and finding out how to deal with the people who result in chronic stress. How do we determine if someone inside your family is toxic?

In a proper household, you should be asked to share your own feelings and thoughts. However when you're engaged with a toxic member of the family, they might ignore your emotions or even provide you with the silent treatment. Some unhealthy adults will slip insults about appearance or health into much of what they say, causing you to be filled with doubt and self-loathing.

Toxic family members are often controlling and can attempt to dominate your choices. They'll decide for you personally or limit your options, such as forcing you to definitely eat foods that you simply hate again and again. Family may also maintain control through gossip. If most of the family knows about the worst blind date of your life before you even go back home, you're likely being emotionally controlled.

Also, if you see that nearly every interaction with someone ends up in a confrontation, that individual is most likely exhibiting toxic traits. Arguments are normal, but you shouldn't be fighting with someone any time you talk to them. 

Most importantly, physical harm is a clear sign you need to immediately get away from a relative. Do not try to understand how to handle violence. If you're ever harmed, you need to immediately leave and get help. 

There are many different options for toxic family members to cause you harm. But if you're feeling drained from interacting with them, it's time to start finding out how to cope.

1. Have Courage

Before taking action, pull out just of bravery you have within yourself. Confronting someone about something which bothers you is scary, but challenging your folks are terrifying. That's why preparing yourself is critical to follow along with finished these strategies. 

Remember what you're wanting to do is important to taking care of yourself. Developing coping strategies can also be the very best chance you have to save your relationship with your family member. 

2. Set Clear Boundaries 

It's important to set both emotional and physical boundaries. This lets you take a break from the troubling member of the family also it helps limit the impact they are able to have. 

You can keep these things knock in your bedroom door in the future. Place a lock or chair while watching door to make sure they respect your request. To create emotional boundaries, you need to be vocal regarding your needs. When they continuously mention one of your insecurities, such as looks, keep these things stop referring to it. Leave the room or change the subject if they continue doing so. This displays your determination by showing your family that you will refuse to talk with them when they continue crossing your boundary.

3. Use Inquiries to Make sure they are Aware of Their Behavior

Sometimes toxic people are unacquainted with how their words and actions hurt others. You should use inquiries to subtly explain the negative aspects of their behavior. This inquisitiveness will force your family member to confront the outcome of their actions. 

Try asking questions like “Do you know that you're hurting my feelings?” or “Do you believe your criticism helps make the situation better?” 

You may also use this method to avoid answering their critical and demeaning questions. Instead of providing a solution, ask another question to divert the conversation away from the topic that bothers you. 

4. Minimize Contact/Sever Ties

Unfortunately, salvaging toxic relationships may also be impossible. If you have attempted to solve the problem also it only led to even worse confrontations or ridicule, you should think about severing contact with that person. Cutting ties is scary and hard to complete. But when you want to create a happier life on your own, this may be an answer. 

Take steps to move out of your shared living space and stop committing to spend more time with that individual. Don't respond to every call or text from them immediately. If you cannot or don't want to entirely cut contact, try minimizing how long you spend together. Oftentimes limiting contact can relieve tension and also create a better relationship. Regardless, being economical time with a toxic family member will definitely relieve stress out of your life. 

5. Build a Healthy Support System

No matter which methods you use to confront your toxic relationship, be sure you have a strong support system of outside family or friends. Coping with someone else's negativity is stressful. You should have a minumum of one person you are able to use for advice without fearing negative feedback from them. 

6. Stay Level-headed and Forget about What You Can't Change

Finally, keep calm as much as you can. Becoming aggravated will only feed the strain between you and the body else, causing more hostile interactions. It's not going to bring about a solution. Concentrate on taking care of yourself and take away yourself in the situation if you need to calm yourself again. 

More importantly, forget about that which you can't change regarding your situation. Many people are stuck within their tendencies and there's no approach to help you improve your relationship together. Although this is an unfortunate fact to manage, it can benefit you move on to produce a happier life. Don't continue pouring effort to your family member if they refuse to use you. Instead, focus your time on people who do care for your well-being and fill your time with them