Walking Meditation and also the Intersection

Beginning in Stillness

If you're living, do something, my thoughts whispered, as I studied the tub’s diverter valve. What 13-year-old thinks of having a shower? It continued. But my body was craving a blanket made from warm standing water. It had been exhausted and grateful. Exhausted from fighting pressure from peers but grateful because I knew my borders – what/how things could enter my body – and what didn't belong in my body (thoughts, drugs, or otherwise!).

My specific story isn't relevant, because which kind of adolescent peer-pressure doesn't involve the body? What is relevant is the fact that every now and then the unofficial mantra, If you're living, do something, still visits me. And gets me moving. And moving always results in making connections.

After sufficient time lounging in the same position on the couch, much like staying still in the water, I choose to get up and move. Re-energize and calm myself from stress, from thinking ahead. One of the current thoughts being, I should finish reading my book first.

But I get going. I recieve going because my heart's been beating fast and my breath's shallow from the screaming neighbors and from pressuring myself to meet my “steps quota” for the day. But I know better. I know which i need to just take it one step at a time. So I choose to practice walking meditation across the sidewalks.

Finding My Pace

Thich Nhat Hanh's phrase “I have arrived” plants my left heel on the pavement. The right heel follows after its very own phrase, “I am here.” Each foot switches from inhale to exhale. By habit, I power walk many steps and lose the phrasing. But yes! I'm getting my primary stress out, emptying my fast heartbeats out in to the universe. Hanh's teaching comforts me while he believes that although walking, we return home. House is where running stops. And we can give ourselves permission to stop.

Uphill and hidden from traffic, my body system drops its weighted stress from my go to my legs. I begin playing: placing one foot in front of the other as though the advantage of the pavement were a strip of tape, hushing each phrase before taking the next step, and pretending I'm slowing down to review a home. I'm finding all the contributing sides of honesty within this play even when it offers my fear of being judged by passing cars and pedestrians.

I, The Body

This meditating allows me to be aware of the cool temperature outside and the warmer temperature within my skin. It pairs very well with being “bodyful” – experiencing and reflecting around the body's showing and telling. An essential example is when my eyes, ears, and limbs are listening and focusing on the sound of cars when i move between sidewalks.

My nervous system tells me what's real and just what needs my focus to remain safe. This would be where I break from meditating and hone in on just taking time and being actively attentive rather than passively aware. If I'm passively aware and continue choosing the flow without taking into consideration the danger that may be created, I could walk straight into a personal injury.

Ironically, focusing – whether through passive steps or actively watching – wakes me up for the rest of the day. I'm even wearing a smirk on my face that wasn't there when I was nearly running on the driveway.

Where One Pause Meets Another

After about 15 minutes of walking meditation, I begin my regular stride round the neighborhood. Toward the finish, I come to an intersection. I immediately challenge and fight myself: Can I take my time and Hanh's phrases with me while crossing? “Can one take my time?” Um, yea I've got a to!

I pause at the paved comma that connects my last thought with a brand new one: being mindful/bodyful while walking in front of the vehicle? Crap. Simultaneous pauses and eye contact between the driver and me ask “Am I going first or you?” A wave gives me permission to go first. With that permission, with this part of power steering, I give myself permission to become patient and delicate as my body heads straight. They do not decide how I look after my body system, I actually do.

Sliding

But my regular pace finds me at first, my legs making wide triangles. I know I can not be completely passive and “in the flow” as in a genuine meditation. I just need a sliver of its calm. Once i am a lot more than halfway over the invisible crosswalk, the alternating phrases from before guide me home in the initial running spurt.

Is it okay if I don’t run? My worry asks. I let myself feel judged for staying calm on my walk. But what if my calm is contagious? Most likely the driver takes his/her time accelerating again. I may be passing along the message “be home, stop running” to 1 person. Possibly to the two other cars behind us. We're directing our societal thought process from “I need to hurry home” to “I am here.”

If you're living, do something. The intersection experience taught me that we are our very own diverter valve: when we let the body and mind work together, we are able to slide thought types from cold to warm.

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